Problems

I have indicated to several people that this is the “rough draft” version.  I am writing for word count, not for sensibility (although I am always delighted when I go back into the archives and say, “Hey, I *did* broadcast that… awesome!”)  With that said, there are some problematic situations that I am aware of, and I will add to this list as I can.  This is not to say that all or even any of these would be fixed in the “real” version, but that they do weigh on my mind.

Problematic Things:

1) It’s written in first person.

2) E is a white male of European descent. His friends are almost all men.

3) All of the women in E’s life are witches, with maybe the exception of his sister and mother.

4) E likes dark-skinned women to a fetish. This means his descriptions of them are far more florid (including “food-colored skin”) and he thinks of “white” as the default and doesn’t generally describe people with this attribute.

5) Written accents.  I hate this, by the way, but I played with it for a bit.

6) Things appropriated from other cultures.  Actually, I like to think I haven’t really done too much of this, but it’s possible I can’t see it because of my own privilege.   ( http://www.irosf.com/q/zine/article/10087 )

7) “Crutch” words.  I take ’em out when I fix the drafts, but I particularly do so much with the “nebulous” of magic, I have a lot of “something” that isn’t well defined.  I also have empty adverbs, and numerous other grammatical mistakes.

8) I will sometimes describe how he brushes his teeth or the other mundane bits.  This is the sin of including action or description that has no bearing on the plot or characterisation.

9) There are a number of non-consensual situations.  They make me uncomfortable writing them, and they are (at least to my knowledge) all deliberate.

10) No one swears.  I mean, seriously.  I write around it here, but the next draft will be more realistic.

11) Lack of names.  Honestly, I finally got E’s name figured.

12) Middle-class privilege. This is actually a deliberate blind spot for E in some ways, but I’d actually like to build it up a little so that he sees the strangeness of the Beyond in this regard.

13) Everyone is fairly neurotypical. I have my thoughts about Maggie, but I also don’t want to paint her into a “villain” role with a designation.

14) Yes, there’s two people I know in the story… disguised, yes, but it’s a problem.  I don’t tend to do Tuckerizations. I think it’s pretty lazy, but there’s an inside joke in it.

15) I don’t want Ed to be the “gay sidekick” but right now that’s a fair description.

16) There’s a lack of individuals with obvious disabilities in E’s life.  Besides the “haves and have nots” of magic, and well, vampires… but it’s something to note.

17) I was able to come up with seventeen different things without really working at it… and you’ve probably found some more.

Things I don’t expect you to be able to see:

1) Killing off an LGBTQ character “to make a point.”

2) I’m not Joss Whedon.