After I hung up with Ed, I spent a while swearing aloud just to get it out of my system.  I like to think I had gotten pretty creative given that no one I knew personally had to work up swearing involving imaginary creatures of indeterminate virtues, well, except maybe the atheists in the crowd.

(I was never sure how to count myself.  I mean, how could you know of deities who interacted with mankind but were probably just things from Beyond and yet not really believe in them being effective towards yourself?  I figured it was like believing in the mailman.  At least the mailman delivers in answer to your stamped prayers.  Or some such oddity.)

I stomped around for a few minutes and woke up with some cold, carbonated caffeine and sugar.  Then I sat at my table and stared at the phone.  The minutes mocked me as the screen went into the, “Nothing’s happened! Let’s darken the display!” mode and I sighed and pulled it over to me.

“If this is my brother, I’m going to cut him into bloody gobbets and feed him to passing pigeons.”

“Love you too, sis.  How did you guess?”

“Oh, I say that whenever a phone call wakes me in the pre-sunlight hours.  Guess I just get lucky this time.  You have a preference for breed of pigeon?”

“You couldn’t tell a pigeon from a seagull without a professional.”

“A tall, dark, handsome professional who is paid to handle my eccentricities, you mean.  Some kind of birdwatching prince in search of a young American bride.”

“Still holding out for royalty?”

“Still playing D&D in someone’s mother’s basement?”

“Glad to hear nothing’s changed.”

“You could call our mother sometime.  You could let her know you still deny the need for constant psychiatric evaluation.”

“I wouldn’t want to put any kind of strain on her aging heart.  One psychotic in the family is enough.”

“Like telling her that you were in not one, but two unexplained and unusual accidents in a month?”

I sighed. “You took the call as her, didn’t you?”

“I had to.  After all, my plans wouldn’t come to their evil fruition unless I get to be the one to tell her of your unfortunate and untimely demise.  What do you need, anyway?  Are you in…” she gave it a moment of savored anticipation, “trouble?”

“Yeah, I need a ride.”

“The clinic’s not open until nine.  Who did you knock up, and was she homeless or merely drunk at the time?”

“Not that kind of trouble.”

“What is it, then?  Arson?  Rape?  Theft?” She paused.  “Murder?”

“Murder, definitely murder.”

“Brother of mine, in some ways you never disappoint.”  I heard her shift a little.  “Let me get my pants on and I’ll come by.  Still living in that little hovel on the East side?”

“Sorry, some of us haven’t found the right millionaire,” I pointed out.  It wasn’t a hovel.  It was snug and cozy, the way I liked it.

“You mean, like, any?” she laughed.  “Do I need my kevlar?”

“This is the wrong side of the highway for the body armor,” I sighed.  “In fact, I had a good police presence here just yesterday.”

“So you mean all the good drugs are gone?”

“Are we even related genetically?” I asked.

“Mom said she tried to sell you to the gypsies, but they returned you during the buyer’s remorse period.”

“Funny, mom told me you were the inspiration for“The Ransom of Red Chief.'”

“You’re still a charmer.  Well, working on it anyway.  Keep practicing.  Hold on.”  She put the phone down and said something in a quiet murmur.  Probably something like, “Jeeves, please get the car ready.”  She returned.  “Fine.  I have clothes and money, and you can bring the shovels.  Where are we burying her?”

“Somewhere in Boulder.  And why do you think it’s a her?”

“Because, my big brother, you’ve never been smart about women, so if you’re in trouble, it’s about a girl.”

“Huh.”  I shrugged.  “You’re probably right.”

“Of course I am.  I’m your little sister.  I know everything about you and you have to love me anyway.  Kiss, and bye now.  I’ll see you in about twenty.”

I was actually surprised that she was willing to help, but it had been a while since we’d seen each other.  I don’t really know what she was expecting to find, but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if it turned out to be a unicorn.

Lion, and now unicorn.  The Small types had a sense of humour.  I had no doubt that it was the second Messenger.  The only question is what message it was sending… protection of my friends?  Potential for mayhem?  Mere mischief?  I only hoped it didn’t bring me a riddle.  I still hadn’t gotten the first ones figured out.

I brought some sheets for Matana’s body.  It was ridiculously hard to kill a vampire, and really, I didn’t have the time or patience for it.  I wanted some answers first.  The sunlight would destroy the traces of her blood, but until dawn arrived there would be a lot of questions if someone passed by or otherwise stumbled upon the scene.  I had wanted Ed to stay by the body so no one else picked her up, but I had sent him to his mom’s to wait for me.

Of course, I was hoping this wasn’t another set-up.  First Sylvia, and now Matana.  Neither permanent, but both would have looked terrible if seen by a judge.  I realized with a laugh that I was the kind of friend who would help a friend move bodies, apparently.

I made another call to a number I had in my phone that I’d only used one other time.  The person on the other end was far more murderous in nature and likely to cause bloody trouble than my sister.  Of course, he was also a treasure trove of vampire trivia I’d met on a BBS in the pre-Internet days, and I believed to have some experience in what I was about to try to do.