I sputtered. I couldn’t, in all honesty, explain that the first time I met her she tried to grab my man-parts. She’d been under the influence, after all. I started to try to explain how ridiculous the very premise was, but couldn’t find the words.<\/p>\n
Rohana laughed, and it was an honest laugh, not a snicker. “You have the wrong guy,” she said.<\/p>\n
“Please answer the question, sir.”<\/p>\n
“I have not offered violence to anyone, male or female, including myself, in my recent memory. I did make a fist at Johannes Stein-something-I-forgot in 6th grade suggesting I might fight back if he tried to push me into another locker, but I am more the Chaucer type.” I didn’t offer violence to Naul, or Viktor, or Ivan, or the Shadow King. Well, I thought violence towards that latter, but wishing him banished didn’t mean wishing him hurt. Banishment always sounded far more painless… on the other hand, I’d never been banished from anything except my little sister’s room, and that didn’t hurt a bit.<\/p>\n
I was thinking it was a great reference, but it was either unknown or left without comment. Oh well. They were busy taking notes and conferring with each other in oblique glances. (No really, there’s a look I think they practice in their basic training. I’ve seen it the few times I’ve watched “COPS.” You know, because I’d seen the “Law and Order” episode that was on some twenty times.)<\/p>\n
“We have statements from the deceased’s roommates that put you there last night.”<\/p>\n
“Uh, yeah. We didn’t go on a date, but we did hang out for a while. My ex-girlfriend and Ed were there, too. Oh, and Matana. I don’t know Matana’s last name.”<\/p>\n
“There was no mention of anyone else in the house,” the officer said, bluntly.<\/p>\n
I searched my memory. After the whoop-de-doo with the lights and all, the three of them came in, but I don’t know if any of the roommates (Barbie, Buffy, and Veronica, as I’d mentally named them) may not have been there. But what about the Shadow King? He probably wiped their memory or some such evil trick.<\/p>\n
“I can give you their contact information to verify my story.”<\/p>\n
They took it and indicated that they didn’t want me making any calls or doing anything but sitting right here. I was allowed to talk with Rohana, but I couldn’t tell if that was because she was or wasn’t someone of interest.<\/p>\n
“I need to leave soon,” she said, shattering my illusions. “Tom called into my shift supervisor, but I’m not dressed for work.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t want you to get in trouble,” I said, immediately. It was true, but I didn’t want to be left alone.<\/p>\n
Truthfully, I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to go to jail. I had this sad false correlation situation where I was afraid that if she left they were going to find some reason to arrest me.\u00a0\u00a0 It was funny, here I was, having faced down Dragons, and I was completely out of my league with the real world.<\/p>\n
I sat down on the curb, looking at the asphalt.<\/p>\n
Then it hit me: “deceased.”<\/p>\n
“What happened?” I breathed out.<\/p>\n
“Honestly? I don’t know.\u00a0 Tom said it looked like she jumped from a tall building onto your rental car and then it exploded.”\u00a0 Rohana said it with a straight face.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I couldn’t help but let out a stress snort anyway.\u00a0 “There aren’t any tall buildings.”<\/p>\n
“Hence the weirdness.”<\/p>\n
I blinked.\u00a0 “I wonder if it’s really her?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know if I can go out with you, E.\u00a0 I mean, you’re fun.\u00a0 You’re nerdy and quick and I like you, but this is…” she made a gesture with her hand I don’t think my native English has a phrase for exactly, but I knew what she meant.<\/p>\n
I put my head down and stared at some of the little pebbles that accumulate at the edge of the road.\u00a0 “I think I’ve found a coping limit,” I said.\u00a0 “I don’t know what to do.\u00a0 I’m overwhelmed, and this is easy.\u00a0 I didn’t do anything.\u00a0 I’m not guilty of anything.\u00a0 I’m shocky.\u00a0 I’m going to start blabbering in a minute and I want you to stay just because I’m looking for some kind of touchstone.” I broke off.<\/p>\n
I put my hand in my pocket.\u00a0 Yes, it was still there.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Rohana kissed my forehead.\u00a0 “I have to go.\u00a0 You’ll be fine.\u00a0 They won’t arrest you.\u00a0 Leave your door unlocked and I’ll be back in the wee hours.”<\/p>\n
“The yes hours?”\u00a0 I tried teasing but my heart wasn’t in it.\u00a0 My voice didn’t crack at least. That was some small blessing.\u00a0 I felt better from her touch, which was foolish, but true.<\/p>\n
“Be careful or I’ll wee-wee all the way home.”\u00a0 She left.\u00a0 I watched her walk away, but then realized that staring at her rear wasn’t helping because I was too distracted.<\/p>\n
She came back a minute later with a box.\u00a0 “Wait to eat this until you’re inside,” she said, giving it to me.\u00a0\u00a0She kissed my head again.\u00a0 “I’ll try to find out what I can.\u00a0 Patience, E.”<\/p>\n
I gave her as much of a smile as I could muster.\u00a0 “I’ll try.”<\/p>\n
The police returned my wallet and let me go a few minutes later.\u00a0 They didn’t seem pleased, but they didn’t tell me to not flee the country or the cosmos or anything.\u00a0 I took the box in with me to my quiet apartment and got my insurance agent’s voicemail.\u00a0 I expected that my rates would increase for this.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I sat down at my so-called dining room table after grabbing a fork in the dark.\u00a0 I turned on a light and stared at the box.\u00a0 The way I was feeling, I envisioned the bottom of the box suddenly turning red and soaked with blood.\u00a0 What body part would be inside?<\/p>\n
“Mmmm.\u00a0 Smells like sugar.”<\/p>\n
I dropped the fork.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
“Are you going to eat that?” Rent-a-Wreck was staring at the box.\u00a0 “Because I’m starving.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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