I didn’t know what kind of lips-touching-lips would seal the deal.\u00a0 Did there have to be moisture for the water element, and the feeling of heat between us for fire, and the sharing of breath for air, and who knows what, maybe one of us ends up on the gravel to finish out the play of those classic elements?\u00a0<\/p>\n
If so, the spell was going to be gravely disappointed.<\/p>\n
We kissed, just a quick peck, and then kind of both stood there uncomfortably for a moment.\u00a0 Magda let go of my arm.\u00a0 It was very awkward.<\/p>\n
“I don’t think that worked,” I said.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, that was kind of… weird.”<\/p>\n
“Awkward.\u00a0 Weird would have been if we’d been doing it hanging from a rope made of llama hair and duct tape over a pit of juggling tuba players,” I said solemnly.<\/p>\n
“Did you have that answer rehearsed or was that improvised?” she asked, a smile kind of twitching at her lips.\u00a0<\/p>\n
“Sheer improvisation, baby.\u00a0 I’m the master of the weird metaphor, and this time, yes, I meant the word weird.”\u00a0 I kicked a pebble with the top of my shoe.\u00a0 “So, what’s Plan B?”<\/p>\n
“I’m up to Plan J, I think,” she said, and this time she giggled a bit, looking at her fingers.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Matana and Ed came back from their conversation, both looking satisfied, or, at least as if they’d come up with a new idea from talking.<\/p>\n
“It’s precisely not a Portal,” Ed said.\u00a0 It was as if he wasn’t asking, but repeating what I had said for clarification, so I nodded.<\/p>\n
“Precisely?” Matana asked.<\/p>\n
“I don’t know how to measure it, if you’re looking for something like it being 3 centimeters or one point six precision dohickeys away from being a Portal, but look at what it is.\u00a0 It’s not quite a bubble, but it’s just one slit in the fabric of reality from being one.\u00a0 It’s carefully wrapped around the boarding house.\u00a0 They’d probably see that other reality through their windows.\u00a0 They’re probably freaked the heck out, if anyone else is in there.”<\/p>\n
“That’s another question I had,” Ed said.\u00a0 “I mean, no one came by when I was here, and now we’re back and there’s been very little traffic.”<\/p>\n
“She didn’t live alone.\u00a0 She had a few housemates, can’t recall their names off the top of my head, and then there was the manager and a couple of other people rented out the end area.\u00a0 Big common room in the back, big shared kitchen…” I tried to remember the layout.<\/p>\n
“It’s not important except in trying to guess at the planning of the fiends who did it,” Ed explained.\u00a0 “Because there’s also no cars but ours in the lot, too.”<\/p>\n
“Could have been the man from Mars,” I pointed out.<\/p>\n
“I thought he only eats guitars now,” Maggie said, quietly.<\/p>\n
“Maybe he fell off his diet,” I said, risking a glance at Matana.\u00a0 The vampire returned it coolly.<\/p>\n
“Seriously, though, we think it’s someone you know,” Ed said.<\/p>\n
“Like some sort of enemy from my past?” I asked.\u00a0 “I really think I’m kind of small potatoes.\u00a0 In a hashbrown world.”\u00a0 I grinned.<\/p>\n
“What?” Ed and Maggie kind of looked at me.<\/p>\n
“Nevermind.\u00a0 It was something a friend said to me once.\u00a0 I liked it.”\u00a0 Guess it didn’t make much sense to them outside of…context.\u00a0 Yeah.\u00a0 “I just don’t think this is the Dragon’s style.”<\/p>\n
“Well, you are the expert,” Ed said, with just a little skepticism in his voice.<\/p>\n
“It is not,” Matana said.\u00a0 She sounded certain.\u00a0<\/p>\n
“Good,” I muttered.\u00a0 “I don’t remember making anyone else mad at me.\u00a0 Oh, maybe some wizards, but they paid me off, so I don’t think they’re holding too much of a grudge.\u00a0 And the guy who popped up in my car on my way here said this was witchy-stuff, so it’s not likely the King of Small Things or whoever he is.”<\/p>\n
Ed held up a hand, while Maggie gave me a puzzled look.\u00a0 Matana looked amused.<\/p>\n
“What?” he repeated.<\/p>\n
“Um, life has been a bit more surreal than usual,” I said.<\/p>\n
“E, bro, if I didn’t know you’ve done some weird stuff,” (and he didn’t use the word, “stuff,”) “I’d say you had been sniffing glue or something.\u00a0 Do you have underwear gnomes whispering things in your ear at night?”<\/p>\n
I laughed.\u00a0 I could have been affronted, but it did sound pretty ridiculous.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Maggie shrugged.\u00a0 “Fighting Dragons and consorting with wizards is pretty fairy tale.\u00a0 I had independent confirmation, though, so I’m convinced on most of the main details.”<\/p>\n
Ed turned to Matana.\u00a0 “And you’re a vampire.\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 Forgive my Winston Zeddemore moment.”<\/p>\n
“You’re way too white for the role,” I pointed out.<\/p>\n
“See, now, that’s just like you’re the man keeping me down.”\u00a0 He frowned.\u00a0 “Anyone else in your weird set of acquaintances?\u00a0 Something that was upset you closed the door on it?\u00a0 Itinerant demonic salesman?\u00a0 Teenage beyonder out past curfew?\u00a0 Some Romeo who took it badly when you shut down the Capulet party?”<\/p>\n
“I think it was Mercutio who got in trouble for that one,” I pointed out.\u00a0 “But anyway, not that I know… of…”\u00a0 I frowned.\u00a0 “I thought my scar was supposed to tingle,” I said, suddenly, breaking off and walking towards where the house ought to be.<\/p>\n
“Um, Mister Potter, could you explain for those of us who got mad in book six?”\u00a0 Ed asked, catching up.\u00a0 Maggie and Matana weren’t even a step behind.<\/p>\n
“The Shadow King.\u00a0 He could do this.\u00a0 This is totally his style.”<\/p>\n
Matana frowned.\u00a0 “The one whose mark you bear?”<\/p>\n
“Just like a big ol’ chip on my shoulder,” I growled.\u00a0<\/p>\n
“What did you do to him?” Maggie asked.<\/p>\n
“Asked him nicely to leave.\u00a0\u00a0 Just like I’m going to do now,” I said.\u00a0 I shouted, cupping my hands like a megaphone towards the house.\u00a0 “Hey there, the demon realm!”<\/p>\n
I didn’t really expect an answer, but I got one.\u00a0 It spooked me enough that I took a step back.\u00a0 OK, a big jump, but so did my companions.<\/p>\n
The world warped, and then a golden image appeared.\u00a0 It was a beautiful woman wrapped in golden light, as if seen through cellophane.\u00a0 She was completely starkers, and fairly transparent, as if she had been drawn in charcoals that emitted light instead of, well, charcoal.<\/p>\n
“Hello, doctor,” she said in a voice that was, if not pure sex, definitely safe sex.\u00a0 You know, because of all the wrapping around her.<\/p>\n
“I thought the line was, `Helloooo, Nurse,'” Ed complained.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I thought my scar was supposed to tingle.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001002,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter-six"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/577","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1001002"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=577"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/577\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}