{"id":346,"date":"2009-10-02T00:27:46","date_gmt":"2009-10-02T06:27:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/?p=346"},"modified":"2009-10-02T00:27:46","modified_gmt":"2009-10-02T06:27:46","slug":"75-and-that-had-been-my-plan","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/2009\/10\/75-and-that-had-been-my-plan\/","title":{"rendered":"(75) And That Had Been My Plan"},"content":{"rendered":"

“They say.”\u00a0 They say a lot of things, unless, of course, “they” are a bunch of monkish types who have taken a vow of silence, at which point I don’t know if they’re allowed to text or otherwise make anything quotable.\u00a0 (If Eco’s The Name of the Rose<\/span> is at all accurate on the point, they’re allowed to illustrate, but it’s kind of hard to make epigrams from, like, icons.\u00a0 Although I’m sure the technology will be there someday.\u00a0 We’ll just walk around with complex emoticons coming out of our foreheads like lasers.\u00a0 Oh wait, we’ve got those already… they’re called “facial expressions.”\u00a0 Nevermind.\u00a0 You know, they say everything old sometimes becomes new again, or at least, becomes the new black.\u00a0 Which is where we actually begin our story.)<\/p>\n

They say that in the beginning there was darkness and then light was brought to it with a word.\u00a0 Does that mean in the end there will be nothing but light and we will bring ourselves once more to the safety and sinecure of the darkness?\u00a0 (Darkness is easy.\u00a0 Light takes energy.\u00a0 I think this is the basic physics equation that powered too much in the way of ecclesiastical thought.\u00a0 You’re making it too complicated when you talk about desire, because yes, we as humans crave light.\u00a0 We push fear into the shadows and should thus find strength in what is revealed.\u00a0 Except we don’t, which is why so much guilt and pleasure and fear and joy and intellect versus instinct is fused into a confusing knot that we tie around our psyches.\u00a0 Trust me, while some on the Outside get themselves into bindings, they’re almost nothing on what we do to ourselves and our own.)<\/p>\n

While I was laying in the dark, and speaking of confusion of the psyche, I was trying to remember who had shot me.\u00a0 I had thought it was Ivan, but it was Viktor’s weapon, and it was pretty confused.\u00a0 It took me a few minutes to realize the point was almost irrelevant because if I was arguing it in my head, I probably wasn’t dead. \u00a0 Probably, unless I was in a philosophical holding cell in the afterlife. Actually, I wasn’t in any pain at all.\u00a0 I mean, I still had a bit of a twinge from where the stitch in my side from following Viktor had begun, but nothing like I thought being shot would feel like.<\/p>\n

I could have been in shock and total system shutdown, except I was breathing easy.\u00a0 I must have been feeling good, though, if I wasn’t concerned as to being shot.\u00a0 The darkness could have been from my keeping my eyes closed.\u00a0 I had closed them because of all the light.<\/p>\n

A lot of mysteries come together and we use the metaphor of pieces fitting into a puzzle.\u00a0 These were more like drops of rain completing a puddle.\u00a0 Maybe I had bumped my head as the bolt had pushed me backwards, but no, the being that was Artur had grabbed me, and the spelled hound had rushed forward at my attacker.<\/p>\n

Sound came in a shockwave that would have bowled me over if I hadn’t already been lying down.\u00a0 It was almost like I had suddenly tuned into the world around me, and my supine form had been lazily channel surfing until the connection could be made.\u00a0 Sound, sight, smell…<\/p>\n

“–dead,” Viktor was arguing.<\/p>\n

There was a dog panting next to my ear, and I could smell his lovable puppy breath.\u00a0 (Much better than “New Car” but still not as good as “baking cookies.”)\u00a0 I was on a cold, hard surface, so I wasn’t home.\u00a0 Which was good, because I hadn’t invited anyone inside and I didn’t know if I had enough table settings, Hospitality being what it is.<\/p>\n

“Nikolai?”\u00a0 I was rewarded with a slight change in the panting pattern.\u00a0 Opening my eyes, I saw it was indeed my temporary bodyguard, who was, in fact, guarding me.\u00a0 I was on the floor of the kitchen at the restaurant, laid out like Ivan, although in much, much better shape.\u00a0 The huge blackened hole through his chest was evidence bolstering my opinion.\u00a0 Hey, that was a win, right?<\/p>\n

“He may chew me, perhaps, but he will find me a hard morsel to swallow,” argued another Ivan, as he was held partially upside down by Artur’s new form, a large trollish figure with a beak, goat’s feet, and long claws.\u00a0 This Ivan was in much better condition, even considering the circumstances.<\/p>\n

I pulled myself up.\u00a0 I didn’t find the lingering aroma appetizing, at least.\u00a0 There was no sign of Viktor’s other dogs, and I could still hear the faint thrumming of the gate linking Ivan to my goal.\u00a0 So, won some, lost some.\u00a0 My movement seemed to change the argument some, so I tried to pay attention.<\/p>\n

“He apologizes for shooting you,” Viktor said immediately.<\/p>\n

“That’s a good start.\u00a0 So, um, what’s going on?”<\/p>\n

Viktor pointed to Artur.\u00a0 “The Lesiye-born claims a right I challenge.”\u00a0 I filed the name to look up later.\u00a0 “Ivan will not give you his Nellya.\u00a0 You have somehow turned a spell into a real borzoi, after being shot with wizard-kill.”\u00a0 He shrugged.\u00a0 “We are going to fight.”\u00a0 It seemed like a completely reasonable next action to him, but then, he could kick a man hard enough to break ribs, although he wasn’t kicking a man at the time.<\/p>\n

“One thing at a time.”\u00a0 I used my fingers to remember the arguments.\u00a0 “Artur claims what right?\u00a0 The right to kick Ivan’s vodka-enhanced rear end?\u00a0 He can have that right, but no one’s killing anybody.\u00a0 Ivan will give me Nellie so I can pry my Guide and Guardian out of her temperature-indeterminate draconian fingers.\u00a0 Part three, I guess that means you have a puppy.\u00a0 Congratulations. \u00a0\u00a0 I’m not a wizard, which is good because someone here has to show some sense.”\u00a0 I resolved not to shake my finger at the three of them.<\/p>\n

“You are not a wizard,” Artur hissed.<\/p>\n

“So what?\u00a0 I don’t have any say?”\u00a0 I went up to him and poked him in the arm.\u00a0 He blinked at me with his cold blue eyes.\u00a0 They matched his skin, a dark azure more like some kind of elemental gemstone than a colour I was used to seeing outside cartoons.\u00a0 I did not hum the Smurf’s theme, and not just because I was afraid he’d recognize it.\u00a0 His grasp of Americana was better than the rest of the Red Poets.<\/p>\n

“Do not try me, mortal.”<\/p>\n

“Didn’t intend to, creature.”\u00a0 I tried to put the same kind of scorn into it that he had put into “mortal.”\u00a0 “Look, as far as I’m concerned, you all owe me.\u00a0 You dragged me into this thing and you took my fairy.\u00a0 I had another Dragon breathing down my neck in the middle of the night over this, and you know what?”\u00a0 I took a step back.\u00a0 “I don’t care.\u00a0 You took my fairy,” I repeated.\u00a0 “She liked meerkats and chocolate and wanted to be a real girl.\u00a0 She’s worth a dozen of you, at least to me, and I am going to get her back.\u00a0 So take your schoolyard bullying attitudes and get this straight.”<\/p>\n

I looked directly into Ivan’s eyes.\u00a0 “I could cut that gate right this second, and it would kill you.\u00a0 Yes, even you, master wizard.\u00a0 You and I alone have that ability.\u00a0 If you want to get into some kind of sorcerous battle with the big mean nasty monster, and if Viktor wants to get in a couple licks, too, I don’t want to hear it.\u00a0 Your mistress is unhappy with you.\u00a0 You could have cleaned up your own house, but no, bring in the Doctor and complain when he wants to give you a bit of his medicine.”\u00a0 I sighed and moved back to lean against a food-preparation station.\u00a0 “And you shot me, which didn’t seem to hurt me, but that’s not the point.\u00a0 The point is, you shot me, so unless you want to become lesiye chow, let’s make a new plan.”\u00a0 I eyed all of them, including the dog.\u00a0 “Are you okay with this?\u00a0 Because I am officially ready to start plan B.”<\/p>\n

Or was I on “C” now?\u00a0 “Get Her” (classic Plan “A”) just hadn’t worked.\u00a0 Going inside to walk between the worlds had been interrupted.\u00a0 This, and it was close to my original idea, was probably “C” but I didn’t want to amend my speech given that I had gotten so worked up over it.\u00a0 I wasn’t even shaking, yet.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It took me a few minutes to realize the point was almost irrelevant because if I was arguing it in my head, I probably wasn’t dead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001002,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-chapter-four"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1001002"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=346"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/346\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.3-2-1-boom.com\/doctor-e\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}